As young girls, a lot of our beliefs about marriage come from our parents and television/movies. Growing up, I knew that I wanted to marry my soul mate and live "happily ever after." I definitely have my Prince Charming and my fairy tale, but there are some things that I never expected from marriage. Don't get me wrong, marriage is completely amazing and the biggest blessing in my life...and we are happy...but it's not all rainbows and sunshine. Really. It's not. : )
A few of my realizations about marriage:
- If we weren't married, we would break up after some of the rough fights. It sounds insane, but it's true. Sometimes it'd just be easier to walk away if it was only a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. But since it's marriage, we hang in there...and fight...and work. And it's hard. And it's totally worth it. During the middle of one fight, I told my husband, "We would totally break up right now if we weren't married." He replied, "Yeah, I think we would." Then we both busted out laughing...it's a weird thing.
- My husband can't fill every need that I have. Only Jesus can do that. If I put ALL of myself and my life and my value into my husband, I will not be happy. I need Jesus. Amen.
- It is beautiful, but it is nothing like what I expected. I promise. It's more fun than I ever imagined and it's more work than I ever imagined. It's a walking contradiction and it's beautiful.
- Sometimes, I am wrong. (Don't tell my husband I said that!) ; ) Yikes, I hate admitting that. But seriously. I'm a female. And I'm emotional. And sometimes I'm pretty crazy. And emotional. And yeah...nutso. Poor husband.
- I will sometimes go to bed mad...even though my whole life I said I wouldn't. I always heard that growing up..."don't go to bed mad." And I truly thought I never would. But guess what? Sometimes I have been tired...and I have gone to sleep mad. And while I don't love it and want to do it frequently, it happens.
- When I compare my marriage to other marriages, it puts me at risk to be unhappy. It's easy to look at other couples and think "they are always happy and their marriage seems so perfect." But truthfully, I have no idea what is going on in their private life. I don't get to see their fights and their tears. Don't compare...it is never a good thing.
Okay married friends, let me hear it. I want all the secrets that y'all never expected from marriage. And single gals, are y'all surprised/shocked by any of the above confessions?
Love, love!
PS: Our marriage is totally fine. Gah. : )
- I will sometimes go to bed mad...even though my whole life I said I wouldn't. I always heard that growing up..."don't go to bed mad." And I truly thought I never would. But guess what? Sometimes I have been tired...and I have gone to sleep mad. And while I don't love it and want to do it frequently, it happens.
- When I compare my marriage to other marriages, it puts me at risk to be unhappy. It's easy to look at other couples and think "they are always happy and their marriage seems so perfect." But truthfully, I have no idea what is going on in their private life. I don't get to see their fights and their tears. Don't compare...it is never a good thing.
Okay married friends, let me hear it. I want all the secrets that y'all never expected from marriage. And single gals, are y'all surprised/shocked by any of the above confessions?
Love, love!
PS: Our marriage is totally fine. Gah. : )
106 comments:
I didn't expect marriage to turn my whole life upside down! Every single situation in my life has changed...
But we're in there together and we love each other. It's amazing (truly amazing) to know I'll spend the rest of my life with this sweet and funny man that happens to be the one person on this whole planet that I can trust and feel safe with!
Amen to everything you said. I totally agree! :) You and your hubs are so cute!!
Got married thinking I would live "happily ever after" WRONG! We had a rocky 3 years of marriage my advice is if you can survive 3 years of marriage you can survive 80!
you are the hubby are very cute and I am sure you will make cute babies!
I'm with you on the fighting thing! hahaha My hubby has said, "I love when we fight we're both like, "Is this really worth leaving and getting a divorce over? Absolutely not." Then we're over it.
I also agree with the not comparing thing. We know a couple who have been together for 10 years and everything thinks they have this perfect happy marriage. Then you get around them and realize that the guy is actually quite possessive who insists on calling and/or texting his wife constantly if she's not with him. Nothing's perfect.
I realized my husband isn't perfect and I love his imperfections. =)
The thing about marriage that I was most surprised by was how much our relationship actually changed once we were married. You're right - a lot of our fights would have caused us to break up if we weren't married. I think that marriage can make a good relationship better and a bad relationship worse. There are times that I am SO mad at my husband, but then I look around at everything we've created together - our 4 fur babies, our home, and our love - which I see every time I look at our wedding pictures. Nothing's perfect, but my marriage is perfect for me.
Oh Megan that confession about your husband not being able to fill every need is so true! It can also be dangerous to expect perfection out of someone else too, because then we get upset each time they may mess up... it's much safer to accept someone for how they are, flaws and all. (:
p.s. I love that face you're making at your husband in that picture hehe
You totally stole my phrase! But there is no better way to say it...marriage is a total walking contradiction. No one can prepare you for what it's going to be like, but that's half the fun in the journey. You definitely learn as you go.
And yes, it's so worth the fight :)
YES. I agree!! Everyone should read this before getting married!
I love marriage--seriously! Like you said, it's the absolute biggest blessing in my life.
I've always thought my husband and I had a solid relationship. We just 'click' together--not very many fights or arguments honestly. When I finally asked my husband why he thought that was (we were trying to find marriage advice to give to a newly married couple), he said it's because we don't make a big deal out of small things. And everything is small. We try to look at everything in a bigger eternal picture, rather than what's important here and now because it's rarely something truly 'important.' Make sense?
My favorite point you made: My husband can't fill every need that I have. Yes, yes, yes, AMEN to that! Even though I love my husband with all that I am, there are things he does that drives me CRAZY. He has always been consistent since the day I met him, so what's the use of getting all mad about the fact that he didn't take out the bathroom trashs this week?! Haha! Boys!
I have found that it is never good to go to bed mad. I just have a lot more anger in the morning and ruin a good day.
I never compare my marriage, because a lot of times people put on fronts. There marriage could be complete crap but in person they seem everything is fine.
Your marriage is totally individual.
I love being married, it's the best!
I love your honesty girly and your abiltiy to be so real. I am not married, but want your perspective one day :-)
I have also heard that phrase "don't go to bed mad." However, sometime a girl just needs some rest or the fight can get even worse...just saying :) I love your honesty and it's so evident how crazy you are about that hubby of yours...regardless of all the times that he may drive you a little nutso! ;) Thanks for sharing love!
Absolutely love this post! What great insight and thoughts into your marriage. I totally agree on the last point about comparing your marriage to other marriages - totally true!!!
Phew! We just moved in together and we fight and I get super, super mad and sometimes go to bed angry to wake up angrier...it was really making me worry that perhaps we weren't supposed to be. The little girl in me gets soooo upset that things aren't happy, sweet, fun, lovey-dovey, perfect all the time - so this post makes me feel better - I am TERRIBLE at comparing our relationship to other seemingly 'perfect' ones too. Thanks so much for sharing this!
Love what you said about not comparing marriages. That is so true!
I agree with your argument one. We've definitely had those moments where we might have broken up had we not been married. (I'm really glad we decided to work it out). The other thing that surprised me, is how it changed our relationship with our single friends. Even though we had been together for five years before getting married, everyone started treating us as one unit instead of two after we got married. Which has its ups and downs. And doesn't much matter since we don't speak to most of them anymore.
I think everyone that's married or is planning on getting married in the near future needs to read this!
A lot of girls have it in their head how their marriage is going to be and they're in for a big rude awakening. I know my marriage isn't going to be rainbows and sunshine all the time, but I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that's worth fighting for.
Great post!
So true! My parents didn't have that lovely dovey relationship that I always wanted but they have been together for 26 years. I thought so many things we going to be different and its funny how things that you think are cute when you are dating bother the crap out of you when your married. haha. Its so funny how the simplest things can change and bother someone as life changes and how the fights can start. But one great thing to look forward to is there is someone right there that loves you to death and that helps.
BTW I love your dress in the second picture!
The first year was definitely the hardest! And I totally agree with you, we definitely would've broken up a few times if we hadn't been married! Haha. I think that was the hardest part for me. Being so angry sometimes and realizing I had to find a way to deal with it and move on, because there was no way out. :)
Love this post!
oh, i totally agree!! in the beginning i use to think that (we would totally be breaking up right now if we weren't married). but after having kids the fights were about them and how to raise them. You feel different about the man you married after you have kids (your love for him grows deeper). The longer you are married the easier marriage is (for me it is anyway). :) sorry if non of the above makes sense! haha! great post!!!
great post! I too have to admit that I've gone to bed angry...but normally it's because it's something so silly that I know there's no reason to bring it up, I guess in those moments I'm more frustrated than mad. Everything seems to be better after sleeping on it!
So glad you shared this, Megan! I have been with my boyfriend for 5 and half years now and the "newness" has definitely worn off...Comparing our relationship to others is always one of my biggest enemies. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if marriage isn't going to be anything too grand to look forward to since we have already been through so much...This post is reassuring that we're normal and that there is still good to look forward to. :) love you, blog sista!
I love this post! It's all so true. Marriage is hard work, but it's totally worth it :)
I never realized how ingrained family values and traditions are until I tried to mesh mine with my husband's. So far this has mostly lead to discussions and problem solving in the way of handling money and holidays. But I know it will be a much bigger challenge when we start raising kids. It's not always easy to figure out how my values fit with my husband's, but the exciting thing is we get to create new values and traditions of our very own! :) PS--Love the post, and I LOVE being married. Second to my salvation, it's hands down the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Great post, dear (: You're like my life coach on marriage! My favorite one is that your husband can't fill every need...only Jesus can! So true. When we depend on people, we get let down. But not when we depend on Jesus!
Oh how funny and true.... Great minds, I actually recently wrote a post about that too.
One of the things I thought - we'd do the horizontal dance 7days a week and then some. Yup, that definitely doesn't happen!
Wow, Megan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been married at least 11 years and 359 days...like me...because I am totally an expert by now.
Not. ;)
It's always a work in progress and there is always another hill to climb.
You are very wise, already, though. The key: keep your eyes on the Lord and everything else will fall into place.
Excellent post. :) (Sorry I've been mildly MIA in MIA. Haha! You see, marriage produces things like kids..didn'tcha know? And they sort of have to come first...plus all the other stuff I'm committed to do. Missed ya, though.)
SUCH a true post!
I tell these things to all my friends getting married when they ask me how marriage really is!
Growing up people always told me marriage is easy! They never told me you had to work at it! And thats the truth!
The fighting and being mad and upset are all part of it!
The one about y'all would have broken up over fights if y'all were not married reminds me of me and my husband! But like you said! We fight it out! We are married!
This is a great post!
This is a fantastic post. Marriage is, hands down, the hardest thing I have ever done. It is something you have to work at every single day, but is definitely worth it!
Touche girl! It is tough, but worth every moment. :)
I am not married, but hope to be in a few years and this is a great post! I think people get wrapped up in the idea of marriage and forget about the actual marriage itself! Things aren't always perfect. Not comparing should be a rule in every sense of life. Comparing anything makes you feel less confident about whatever the case may be! I love this post!
Megan I applaud this post. Jason and I just celebrated our first year of marriage. I can honestly say it was not only the best year or my life but the hardest. I learned so much about myself as a person. Most importantly that another person can't fill every need I have. I think it is important to realize that.
I watch so many of my friends never be happy because they are looking for prince charming. What they don't realize is marriage is a fairy tale but it isn't like the movies. At all.
It is wonderful and sometimes it is hard. But it really is beautiful and I love every part of it!
Fantastic post! Of all the advice I've been given since M and I got engaged, your suggestions are some of my favorites :)
So true on everything! I wish everyone would read this, especially the part about working things out and not breaking up.
My biggest thing is that marriage doesn't change much, but it really does solidify your relationship that much more. Before you were still your own person in a since, but married, you make your own family and therefore stick up for the other (in public, at least) even if you don't agree!
wow! as an unmarried lady I find this truly eye opening! Thanks for the honesty ladies!
Oh such good points Megan! I think that's when real maturity comes, realizing that life is different than a fairy-tale, yet still has some amazing gifts we never even could have imagined. Aww.. you guys are so cute. :)
I love that you said it's a walking contradiction. SO true. Marriage is the most wonderful but hard thing that I've ever experienced. It's better than I imagined but it takes work. There are times I don't always like Dylan, but there is always love.
Thanks so much for your great advice, Megan!! I love it! And you guys are adorably cute!! :)
<3 Rachel
Thanks for posts like this, Megan! Honest posts like this encourage me to have more of a "reality" and Christ centered view of what marriage is and it helps me to steer away from the "happily ever after" view that the world so often gives. I know that one day through all the ups and downs of marriage it will boil down to one thing.... He is my husband and we said "forever". The Lord will bless a marriage that is founded in Him!
i think you 2 are awesome
im not married (YET EEEEK) but kurt and i have had some pretty rough fights but we stick through it like you two!
i think this was such a great post and so true...marriage definetely seems like a true test and you 2 have passed with flying colors. SO DAMN CUTE
xoxox
I love this post and it is so true! I have found that marriage is NOT easy and NOT perfect, anyone that tells you that is lying :-) It's worth the fight to be in a loving marriage and work through differences or little fights along the way!
Love the realness of your post!! :)
And I am not married so it's hard for my to relate-but I've been with my bf for 8 years now (I know, I am curious where the missnig rock on my finger is too-jk we've chatted about it)
I couldn't agree more with everything you said though!! :)
Love love loves it!
So true! Love this post.
I love these posts! Great insight! I like the part about not comparing relationships, it's so true. The pictures of you two are pretty adorable too!
This was beautiful! Sometimes, I think that going to bed mad is not such a bad thing: it gives you time to cool off and think and you can actually have a much more productive, loving conversation and resolution later!
my advice.
dont sweat the small stuff. couples usually bottle up the stuff that REALLY matters (like finances) and never talk about it, then its the littlest things (like who didnt put the cap back on the toothpaste) that send couples over the edge, landing them in divorce court.
i learned that bit of advice growing up and i'm so thankful i did. it has made being married so much more fun and enjoyable.
I think it's awesome that you shared these confessions! I don't think I was shocked/surprised by any, but it was interesting to hear you say that about breaking up...I've always wondered that about couples who occasionally will argue or fight about things (which means every couple lol), and I've wondered what would happen eventually when I get married. Thanks for the insight :)
I love this post! You are totally right, just like life marriage comes with the good and the bad. On Saturday while we were laying around watching the PSU football game my hubby asked me, "is this what you thought being married to me would be like?" My answer, "No, I thought we'd go on more adventures and do more activities!" But that is life, it is not always fun and games, but at the end of the day, it is totally worth it!
love this post!! your honesty is always refreshing.
biggest surprise...how much sex my husband wants. seriously. 1+ years in and it still shocks me :). other than that, i think i'm close to figuring out the male species ;)
Love your post and I agree with everything you said! Hope you had a fabulous weekend!
xo
Love your post! So true! Today is our 2 year anniversary and there have definitely been ups and downs, but we love each other!
bahaha to Sam's comment!! Gosh, I love her!
But I have to 100% agree w/you on all of these..and yes, I'm not even married! I loved 1 and 2. I love your honesty sooo much.
Emily w/Amazing Grapes
You and your hubs are so cute!
I cant wait to get married and see for myself how all of it comes together for me and him. :)
It's so true. Marriage is one of those things you can't explain, but you must experience. And everyone's is different!
My biggest lesson has been that marriage is a committment. A choice. One that you choose, and make, over and over again.
Love this post. I find some of this true about all relationships!
So. True. Every single word! About going to bed mad- I always said I would never do it, but I do sometimes. And honestly, I think sometimes it is needed. If you both are tired and emotional, sometimes (how many times can I say that word...wow!) what you need is to wake up with a new perspective and less emotions!
You nailed this one on the head! All of it, so true!
The one thing that is different than what I expected is that it's not hard. I know you said it is & everytime I say that it's not people look at me like I have 2 heads. Maybe it's because I was almost 30 & the hubs was almost 36, maybe it's because we dated 5 years. I don't know. We didn't live together either. We've talked about it a lot & neither of us think that marriage is hard. I'm by no means saying our marriage is perfect either because everyone has issues.
I'm getting married in a month - but have been living with my fiance for the past few months, I have to say that none of these really surprised me, but it is REALLY important to never compare your relationship to someone elses.
Totally agree with what you said...marriage is a lot of work but so worth it!
Another one that is hard/difficult is the fact that you always did it your "parents" way... and they always did it theirs... now you sometimes clash there....
I always had this perfect picture of marriage in my head, and then, when I met Mr. A, it changed. Marriage is not easy. Marriage is not always fun. If we weren't 100% committed to each other, we would probably have broken up already. We really get into, sometimes, because we are so stubborn and passionate about what we talk about.
It's good that someone is telling the "truths" about marriage.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
So true. During our premarital counseling we were told never to bring up divorce, for us it isn't an option. Ever. Sometimes when we don't agree, knowing that divorce isn't an option is a comfort, that this is just another stupid thing (whatever is may be) we need agree on it and get over it.
Another interesting thing we learned was about going to bed angry, yeah yeah you shouldn't do it but sometimes you are emotional and wwwaaaayyyy to tired. They (my pastor & his wife) have a rule 12:20 (the time it was) that the person can call that (12:20) and the argument has to end until the next morning.
Congrats on your first year of marriage! Many more blessings :)
Love this, Megan! I think I may add this to some of the meet the cast Monday questions I do for my married friends! :)
~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com
Great post...I was telling my husband last night as we were falling asleep in bed...how funny it is that we spend our life in our own bed...no sharing and when you get married...it's like having a sleepover every night! It's nice to know you get to come home to someone every day. :)
I loved reading this post, Megan. Sometimes, I read other blogs and can't help comparing. In 8 months, I've learned that marriage is not for sissies! It takes a lot of work! And I learned not to care about little things... Oh and I should never hire someone to fix anything in this house. That's a valuable lesson if you're married to an engineer haha :)
I loved this post! It puts things in perspective, and as I read this, I thought about how if you compare your relationship to other peoples' it puts a damper on yours, when in reality, we have exactly what we need by our side.
Yes to all of the above! I know if I had read this before I was married, I would have though oh no my marriage will be perfect because we're married. haha--such a naive person I was! I do think marriage can be really tough, but it's the most worthwhile thing I've ever done in my life. :) Thanks for the honest post! :)
Megan, this is why I love you! This post is so spot on. I agree with everything you wrote. The Hubs and I have had quite a rough 5 years of marriage and I always joke around that if I haven't killed him after 5 years, I probably won't. How true this is! Marriage is super hard work and it's not perfect, no matter how badly we try to act like it is. The most important thing is to not compare your marriage to others. I'm so guilty of this and it's definitely put a bad taste in my mouth in regards to marriage as an institution. It isn't the happily ever after I always dreamed of but I wouldn't change the person I'm sharing my life at all. If I did, my kids wouldn't have the best Daddy ever
marriage... cake walk :)
i'm single and i know marriage isn't all wonderfulness. however, the media does a great job of making it sound that way.
thanks for your post. i appreciated reading about a real life marriage.
Thanks for this post!! I needed to read that today. You are most definitely right about the going to bed mad thing. I thought I would never ever do that but wouldn't you know since being married it has happened a time or two. :)
Oh my I absolutely love this. Even though I'm not married "yet". My favorite thing you said is not comparing. To me, nothing makes things worse than comparing your situation to someone else's. I also believe that relationships in general are hard, hard hard work. You have to compromise, know when to back down, know when to stand up for yourself, know how to make someone else happy while still trying to make yourself the same. The biggest thing I have been learning about being engaged and pretty much married is that you aren't going to agree on everything. You are two different people. It's how you handle that, that really counts. I couldn't have written a better post myself. I love it. And always love your posts my dear :)
Your posts about marriage make me so excited to find my prince charming some day!
I love you Meg! And I love this post! Can I just say dido to the whole thing??
Great post! I totally agree with marriage being a huge contradiction - It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, and not anything like you expect, but it's also the most rewarding and so much better than you expected too.
One realization I had is just how difficult it is to truly combine families. I knew what I was 'getting myself into' so to speak, as we dated for 6.5 years before getting married, but it's different when you live together and see family relationships (in my case, mother/son) every day. Definitely difficult to deal with sometimes, and usually the one thing we fight about, but we're learning!
Honestly, I couldn't be happier and I absolutely LOVE being married, but it's way harder than I ever expected! I hear ya about the fights - They're definitely more intense now that we're married, but on the other hand, all of the good feelings/emotions/events are even happier and more fulfilling now too!
Great great post!
I can think of couples I know first hand who portray something outside that isn't goes on behind closed doors for past year !
You nailed it Missy!
Us women are crazy sometimes, huh :) I feel bad sometimes for my husband because it must seem like the rules always change on them depending on our mood. Oops! And laughing in the middle of fights is good- we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously!
Great advice girl! Everyone should see this because you're right - a lot of people think it's all rainbows and sunshine!
Will and I knew within 6 months that we were going to be together the rest of our lives. We took "breaking up" off the table, and even though we didn't get married for another two years- we felt like we were. When we got married, NOTHING changed for us. It was kind of amazing, actually. The only thing I can say is that we grow more in love each day and even when we fight- we still hold hands...even if we aren't talking. I love him even more when I'm mad because I realize that I'd rather fight with him than be with anyone else!
I'm not married, but your blog makes me wish I was! :)
LOL at the photo of you making fun of your husband. I love the expression on his face. Too funny!
I 100% agree with everything you mentioned! When we had our first child, if we wouldn't have been married, we would not have made it. Sleep deprivation makes you do crazy things :) The husband and I just celebrated 10 years, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but we still like each other and I don't know what I would do without him!!
Jen@FoodFamilyFitness
i think the last message is the most truth and depending on Jesus for everything else!
This is such a great post, Megan! I can second EVERYTHING you just said.
My church is doing a women's bible study and there are two points you hit on that we have really worked on. They are realizing your husband (and others) can't fill you up 100%, you need Jesus in there too. And not comparing what you have to others (or your husband to other husbands). Because I can't handle what other's have, good or bad. You just never know what you aren't seeing.
So true, Megan!
Words of wifey wisdom! Love this. Marriage is the greatest/hardest adventure! xoxo
thing entry is amazing and just what I needed to read! Thank you for sharing this!
And what you said "marriage is the greatest/hardest adventure" is ohsotrue!
I love this so much Megan! LOVE LOVE LOVE! No marriage is perfect! One thing I do a lot is take my stress out on my hubs and thank GOD he has more patience than a snail! One thing that has really surprised me is HOW MUCH FREAKIN' TOILET PAPER men use! It's gone after two episodes I swear! My heavens! :) TMI? Ah well. I hope one day my hubs and I can meet you guys!
I love this post! How clever!
Sometimes I am wrong too and I HATE to admit it.
I also hate going to bed mad. We try very hard to fix things before but occasionally, when we are feeling stubborn, it happens.
Comparing anything equals trouble. Good point on not comparing marriages.
Have a great week~
I was going to comment on each point you made individually but as each realization of your came up, I found myself saying the same thing -- SO TRUE. I agree 100 percent. And I LOVE that you write things like this because so many people do need to hear it. Marriage is SO hard. As in, back when hubs and I were much less immature than we are now and childless, I swear I went DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE and paid the $50 for divorce papers. seriously! Good thing I didnt go thru and good thing I have a husband who would NEVER want to get divorced. Now that we have kids its even MORE important to me. No way do I want to be seeing my kids half the time.
Anyway, now that I rambled, love this post and just another reason why I love YOU so!
shoot girl! I don't know whatchu be talkin about, my marriage is perfect! JUST KIDDING! But really. I've only been married 5 months an dI didn't realize i'd actually have to remind myself from time to time that I LOVE this boywho is driving my nuts :)
#2 heck yes! i think a lot of girls put their whole existence into their guy - i am guilty! and now that i'm out of that relationship realize you have to find your confidence in Jesus -THEN you can have a great relationship:)
Beautiful post love!
those are some great points you make. for us marriage has been easier than i thought. we were older when we married (me 31, him 30) and i think that helped in some areas ~ we were more settled, careers were established, we had money saved. we made a commitment in sickness (we've had some of that) and health, good times (fun trips, birth of three children, buying a home) and bad (several years of infertility, miscarriages, death of a parent) for richer or poorer (we have been blessed and enjoy anonymously blessing others). my husband is the head of the household which means he will sometimes make decisions that i don't completely agree with; but someone has to make the decision and take the fall in failure. too often we women don't like to give up that control.
at night when i crawl into bed and snuggle up with my beloved i just smile because i am simply happy with the life we have. there is a part of me that has been shared with him only ~ the way God intended.
congratulations on year one! wishing you God's best for many more years of blessings.
gosh, i love coming to your blog and reading posts like this one. being a single girl and reading about the married life in the blog world is interesting. i love your realizations about marriage...especially the statement about putting your all into Jesus not your hubby....i think a lot people forget this important little part. love it!
Awww, I LOVE you for this post Megan! Finally the TRUTH! Lol! It's so refreshing to hear someone else admit what I also feel to be true! Marriage IS amazing but it's also HARD and times get rough. You said it perfectly "a walking contradiction and it's beautiful" :)
I'm not married, but I'm living with my bf (with the intention to get married if he EVER proposes), and we just bought a house. We've been together awhile, and we are "common law" so I say that counts (as I wouldn't have moved in with him if we weren't getting married).
Moving in with him and actually living with him was way different than I expected. Its very hard, and its a lot of work. You have 2 people, used to doing things their way and trying to find something in between that works for the two of you. Its a lot of give and take, and in the beginning neither of us wanted to give.
Now we have things figured out, and have things running pretty smooth. Its still a lot of work. But one thing I have learned is that, even if we fight, he's not going anywhere. Its a nice thing to know :)
I'm not married, but I'm living with my bf (with the intention to get married if he EVER proposes), and we just bought a house. We've been together awhile, and we are "common law" so I say that counts (as I wouldn't have moved in with him if we weren't getting married).
Moving in with him and actually living with him was way different than I expected. Its very hard, and its a lot of work. You have 2 people, used to doing things their way and trying to find something in between that works for the two of you. Its a lot of give and take, and in the beginning neither of us wanted to give.
Now we have things figured out, and have things running pretty smooth. Its still a lot of work. But one thing I have learned is that, even if we fight, he's not going anywhere. Its a nice thing to know :)
Great post! Marriage is not all fun and games. I'm glad you posted something honest. I get pretty bored with blogs that only tell the "goods" of marriage. I enjoy the ones that keep it real and honest.
Love this post. SO true. I was always warned that year 1 was going to be the hardest bc. you're getting used to one another. For us, year 2 was the most rough, and I remember thinking the same thing: if we were dating, this would be over. But that's the beauty of marriage. For better or worse. You hang out with your teeth for dear life until the rough times pass because you've worked through them together, and then you're able to enjoy the really fun parts of it :-)
Hello!! Amazing post!
I agree with you whole heartedly. Wish more people understood that no one can fill you completely but God. It would take some of the pressure off the spouse to be the hero and probably would save a lot of marriages!
Love your points. Thanks for sharing!
My secrets are a whole lot like your secrets. Like, A LOT! You had saying "amen sister" after every single one haha
I like your unhappy comparison, so true! My biggest realization in marriage was that it was up to me to make myself happy, it was not his job. And communication, lordy who knew you'd have to spell everything out. And putting some arguments on hold so we can both get a good nights sleep, we're so responsible.
Honestly it is way different then I imagined. Sometimes I feel like this is it? And sometimes I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It depends on A LOT of things.
you are soo soo right megan about marriage, we would be broken up after fights too and jesus is the only one to fulfill everything i can't expect my husband to. what a truthful and honest post i love it!
Such great advice, Meg! Never compare your lives to other couples it only leads to tears and heartache. And having a relationship with our Heavenly Father is the only thing that keeps Brandon and I together! :)
Love that man!
So I know I'm super late to this train, but just wanted to say how much I loved this post. Marriage is so much work... day in, day out. Everyone always talks about the warm fuzzies, but no one ever talks about the nitty gritty! THANK YOU!!!!
Hope you've had a great week! XOXO, Stephanie
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